Don't Give Up

"The harder I work, the luckier I get." Michael Jordan

One of my favorite nephews graduated from high school this year. He's a smart, good-looking, talented boy. He's also one of the nicest, hardest-working kids I know. The Michael Jordan quote was on his graduation announcement. I'm convinced his brains and talent (can't change the beauty part) have been developed to such a great extent because he learned to work hard at a young age.

There are many different aspects of life where hard work is essential. My husband is riding his bike in a race called Lotoja. From Logan, Utah to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, the race is 203 miles and almost 10,000 feet of vertical gain. In one day! I hurt just thinking about it. Other riders who have completed the race have told him it is 90% mind over body. Of course you have to train well and have the right equipment but the most important thing on race day: Don't give up.

No matter what you want to succeed at, it is imperative that you put in the time, train hard, and get the right equipment or help but the most important thing: don't give up.

Below are a few areas of my life that I want to succeed at but sometimes find myself becoming discouraged.

Fitness: Becoming fit is extremely tough. Many people start an exercise regime and quit because they get injured or sore or just plain sick of it. Please don't give up. I promise you it will get easier. As you do an activity you will enjoy it more. I'm finally recovered from my fourth baby and I completely understand how hard it is to get back into shape. It hurts. But it gets easier and more fun. Keep a positive attitude, keep making yourself get out of bed (I know, I love my mattress too), and keep trying different kinds of exercise. The variety will help you become more fit and keep you mentally excited about exercise.

Healthy Eating: As I exercise each morning I am convinced that I will eat healthy the entire day. By two p.m. my taste buds are hollering for their ice cream fix. I'm embarrassed to admit that most days I succumb. But it's okay to give in once in a while. You don't have to be perfect to be a healthy eater. I like the 90/10 diet plan (i): if you eat healthy 90% of the time, 10% of the time you can eat what you want. I try to eat low fat meals loaded with veggies so I can splurge on ice cream. Don't throw in the towel just because you slipped up on your diet. Enjoy the treat and do a little better next time. Or better yet, plan for the treat so you don't feel guilty or out of control.

Writing (or any worthy goal): I know of many writers who keep a file filled with rejections from agents and publishers. Not me. I toss them in the trash, delete them from my computer, and try to erase them from my memory. Writing is a tough industry. It's rare to hear of a successful writer who didn't deal with rejection. It's brutal, but no matter what kind of industry you're trying to succeed at, you have to keep going. Learn from the setbacks and get up no matter how many times you get knocked down.

Family: As a parent I repeat myself so often I get tired of hearing it. No wonder my boys tune me out sometimes. Parenting is one of those areas you can never give up on. Even though it seems like they're never going to get it we have to keep working, trying and praying. "No success can compensate for failure in the home." (ii) My focus has to be on my boys. When I start having those selfish nudges like wanting to eat a meal sitting down, I remind myself that they're growing up fast. I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to teach them but I also don't want to miss out on the fun.

Spirituality: Endure to the end. How many times have you heard that one? It's always when I get kind of comfortable and think I'm doing things pretty well that the Lord reminds me of several areas I can improve. Never fun, but as we obey the commandments, pray our guts out, and listen to those promptings we can become more like the Savior each day. And when I catch those glimpses of loving others as He did. The humbling is very much worth it.

What goals or dreams are important to you? How do you keep going when you feel like giving up?


(i) "The 90/10 Diet" by Joy Bauer
(ii) Quote by David O. McKay, ninth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

The Time is Now

"I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, let me do it now; for I shall not pass this way again." S. Grellet

I always get excited this time of year to be on top of my life again. I make all kinds of goals and plans: To have an effective schedule for homework, chores, family fun time, bedtime, etc. To eat healthier, eat smaller portions, and exercise harder. To meet my writing goals. To serve others more effectively and more often. To clean my house (no, not really, that's still way down the priority list).
Even though I get really excited about my goals, it's always easier to plan for tomorrow rather than today. Tomorrow I'll study and ponder my scriptures instead of just reading them. Tomorrow I'll be fun and play with my boys for longer than five minutes. Tomorrow I won't eat a bowl of ice cream (but I really need one tonight). Tomorrow I won't sleep in (but the baby was up a lot last night and right now I really need to snuggle my pillow). Tomorrow I'll make the boys clean their rooms (then I'll redo them while they're at school).

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today." Thomas Jefferson

"When it comes to eating right and exercising, there is no, I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow is disease." V.L. Allineare

It's great to make goals and to plan for tomorrow, but we need to live for today. I love having many lofty goals but to be effective in accomplishing those goals I try to break them into easier, daily goals. I also like to write them on the calendar so I know what I need to accomplish today.

Today I will make a healthy dinner for my family and resist chocolate (oh, the torture). Today I will revise five pages of my manuscript instead of check out Facebook posts during computer time. Today I will get out of bed when my alarm goes off, drive to the gym, and not come home until I sweat. Today I will go visit my adopted grandma. Today I will respond with patience and love when my four-year old is flailing on the ground screaming for a donut (that only happened twice so far).

It's easy to get overwhelmed if we think we have to do everything perfectly for the rest of our lives, but if we can take it one day at a time it seems more manageable. If anyone told me I could never have a bowl of chocolate ice cream covered with chocolate fudge again I'd probably eat ten bowls to stock up on the sensation, but if I just tell myself that I'm not having a bowl today but on Friday I can have a treat, I don't go quite so crazy.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a wonderful call to action in the May Ensign: "Now is the time to adjust your lives to be able to have a temple recommend and use it. Now is the time to have meaningful family home evenings, to read the word of God, and speak to our Heavenly Father in earnest prayer. Now is the time to fill our hearts with gratitude for the Restoration of His Church, for living prophets, the Book of Mormon, and the priesthood power that blesses our lives. Now is the time to embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, become His disciples, and walk in His way." (i)
Now is the time to accomplish our goals, improve ourselves, and love and enjoy our family and friends.

The other day in the grocery store, the young man at the deli counter handed me my meat. I mumbled, "Thanks. Have a nice day." He grinned and said, "No. You make it a great day." We each have a choice. We can choose to make it a great day or we can choose to become bogged down with frustrations, offenses, and a to-do list that we can't accomplish.

"There is no tomorrow to remember if we don't do something today. Let us not procrastinate those things which matter most." Thomas S. Monson (ii)
Today is the gift we have been given. Make it a great day and let tomorrow take care of itself.

Cami Checketts is a wife, mother of four boys, exercise scientist, and author. http://camicheckettsbooks.blogspot.com - http://fitnessformom.blogspot.com

(i) Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Way of the Disciple," Ensign, May 2009, 75-78.
(ii) President Thomas S. Monson, "Don't procrastinate what matters most," LDS Women's Conference, May 2, 2008.

Setting Achievable Goals

How are those New Year’s Resolutions treating you? Are you irritable without your chocolate? Or sick of getting out of bed early to drag yourself to the gym?

If you’re like me I’m on fire about my lengthy list of goals and then a couple of weeks into the year I realize something – my list is too long and I’m miserable. I’ve finally discovered that it doesn’t work for me to make too many goals at once. I get overwhelmed and frustrated. I now make goals that will be with me for a lifetime, not just a quick fix to get me through the first weeks of January.

One goal a month:

I decide on one goal each month and write it on the top of my calendar. Then if I need to I break it into manageable goals for each day. For example, my goal might be: incorporate more interval training into my workouts. I break it down into: do intervals for my cardio workouts on Monday and Thursday. Then I write on my calendar each Monday and Thursday so I won’t forget. Or my goal may be to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day. Again, I use my calendar, but this time I make a little slash mark for each eight ounce glass I drink. Another goal I’ve made is to play (and actually be fun) for at least an hour with my youngest son each day. Again, the goal is already spelled out for me I just make a check mark on the calendar when I accomplish it.

There’s something about writing that goal on the top of my calendar. I look at the calendar often so I can’t forget about or neglect my goal. If you’re not a calendar person, you could place your goal on the mirror or fridge or maybe put it as a reminder each day in your cell phone. Since my cell phone is often lost or dead, this wouldn’t work for me, but you need to find what is most effective for you.

A habit is formed in 21 days. That’s what makes a month-long goal so perfect. If you can make it a month, you will have turned your great goal into a fabulous habit. Then next month you can make a new goal and keep progressing. When I am feeling really ambitious I will set goals in a few different areas. A physical goal: more strength training or at least 5-6 veggies and fruits each day. A spiritual goal: study my scriptures each night or do one act of service each day. A mental goal: add 1000 words to my work in progress each weekday or update my blog three times each week. But this is only when I’m feeling really ambitious and the rest of my life is pretty settled (boys aren’t involved in too many activities, husband’s not ward mission leader, I’m not expecting a baby). Most of the time I am thrilled with one goal a month and that is plenty to work on.

Think about the type of goals you’re setting. As you’ve probably noticed from my examples, my goals are all things that I can accomplish. They are not something vague like: Hit the NYT bestseller list with my next novel or lose twenty pounds for my class reunion this summer. Those might seem like powerful and motivating goals, but they may be out of our control. All I can do is write the best novel I am capable of and work night and day to promote said novel. Even if I eat perfectly and exercise diligently, I may lose fifteen pounds but not twenty. Am I then a failure?

I get annoyed when women come to me wanting me to help them lose weight for an event. Weight is not a great indicator of health and quick weight loss rarely lasts. What I think most of us really want is: to look good, to feel healthy, to be strong and active and enjoy loved ones. Do people really walk up to you and ask how much you weigh? Can you imagine? People do notice how you look. But they really notice how you carry yourself with confidence, the smile on your face, and the spirit you have about you.

Set goals that will make be you your best you. Set goals that you can achieve. Here’s my latest: Smile all day long even when I feel like screaming. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Cami Checketts is an author and exercise scientist. She and her husband are expecting their fourth, he’s praying for another boy. Her latest book, The Sister Pact, is in stores now. www.camichecketts.com